Now the fear people may experience instantaneously in response to this idea is, “If we promote the idea that ‘sex feels good,’ girls will have MORE of it, which will only increase their risk,” and to this I say: Nope.
Why do girls have sex? According to Orenstein’s reporting (and Deb Tolman’s almost 15 years ago – amazingly little seems to have changed since her Dilemma’s of Desire was published), middle class American girls have sex because they are trying to do what they believe they are supposed to do, obeying the rules of their culture, performing their feminine role, in order to meet their partner’s expectations, or because porn and the rest of their culture has taught them that sex is about WHAT YOU DO, not about how it feels inside your body.
They are NOT having sex because it feels good – pleasure doesn’t enter the conversation.
